I am a monster.

Allah Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Pengampun. Ingatlah kita ni manusia, kita sentiasa berbuat dosa. Selagi kita bernafas, selagi itulah masih belum terlambat. Belajar dari yang lepas dan jangan pernah tinggalkan solat. Solat anugerah bagi kita, ia tiang kita dunia dan akhirat.

I used to wonder what its like getting wasted. Like isnt it a sin? Why do they do it? Well, God put me in their shoes when i was stressed with everything in life. I wanted to die so much when everything goes wrong. I forgot how to appreciate what i already have. And then God made me wonder what its like to think positively. Look at everything on the bright side. This is life. You have to feel pain to know what you’ve gain. To see a rainbow, you need to feel the rain. No use crying in the rain, no one will realise it. Dance in the rain. Chase those clouds away. They say, “senyum di waktu susah itu tanda ketabahan.” show them you are strong. But always remember. No matter how strong you are, we are humans. We are made of flesh and bones. We all have a heart. Never hurt anyone with your words cause they are sharper than knifes. Begin your day with Bismillah, good or bad, everything happen for a reason. Nothing is coincidence. Whats important is sincerity. Insyaallah, good or bad, you will still say Alhamdullillah. :)

Friday, brother turning 18. They planning for clubbing. No oh no. Sometimes in life, i have to be selfish. I sudah cuci tangan. Sorry guys. :(

I dont want to lose them. I feel bad not joining them in whatever they always do. I just cant do what i used to do with them. I feel like im in a different world. Sometimes i feel like walking away too. But they are the friends i will never trade for anything. With them, i am myself. But i just got the feeling they kinda hate that ive changed. I feel like im selfish. Im really sorry guys. I just dont know how to explain. We can have fun without those things. Being happy is when we know we are close to Him. Not by doing things He forbids. Everyday i pray hoping you guys will take my hand and follow me to His direction. You guys always make me smile n laugh, i wouldnt want to lose you guys just because i choose a different path….

I need to talk to someone but i dont know who to talk to. Life has been so hard recently. Billions of people in the world and im feeling so lonely….

I may have lost all the matches with my friends last night on fifa12 but im still looking forward to the next session. You know, it feels great to do something very fun with people you can be yourself the whole time. At least we got something that keep us together. No more getting wasted everyday n every night. We dont need all that to laugh n live life like we’re gonna be forever young. Thank you neighborhood watch boys. You guys always make me smile, laugh n dance like every night is a friday night.

Walau macam mana lebar senyuman aku, jiwa aku tetap sedih aku nak lari jauh jauh lah please.

Amirah. Ye aku menyesal. Menyesal tak jaga hati kau dulu.